


Well, ain't that a kick in the head

by scarsgirl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Comic Book Science, Intersex, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mpreg, Science Experiments, brief moment of non-con, but not an accurate portrayal of intersex persons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-02-07 15:52:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1904844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarsgirl/pseuds/scarsgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is reluctantly helping Steve tend to a wound, when he stumbles upon a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note to say that this story is not meant to represent intersex individuals and is a complete work of science fiction when it comes to the workings of Steve's body post-serum. You should also know that although I have marked this story complete I will be adding a few drabbles to it in the next few days and a chapter that takes up post CA:TWS.
> 
> I wrote this story in just a few hours, so it hasn't been beta read, but if you see something wrong let me know and I will correct it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and if you like it, let me know.
> 
> UPDATE 3/19/17: So I got a kudo on this story this morning and it reminded me that I had a few finished chapters that I never posted. I had not intended for this story to be longer than one chapter, but then it grew legs and I wrote more before hitting a period where I just didn't feel like writing for a while. I'm hoping posting these chapters will get me back on the horse and I'll be able to finish the story.

\----------------------------------------------

“I know you hate doctors, but at least the army gives them to you for free,” Bucky pleaded as Steve gingerly lowered himself onto the cot in the tent they’d been assigned. “Let me take you to medical, Steve. This is nuts!” He knew his voice was getting high as desperation set in. He couldn’t -wouldn’t do this. Sure, he’d played nursemaid to Steve plenty of times, and had been happy to do it, but digging a bullet out of his best friend’s ass was just a little above his pay grade. 

He swallowed hard as Steve began to unfasten the buttons of his uniform. Watching Steve’s hands reminded him the other reason this wasn’t a good idea. He’d seen Steve naked plenty of times, usually when Steve had been too weak or sick to take care of himself properly, but he’d been so worried about Steve at those times that Steve’s wiry frame and knobby knees and the trail of light blond hairs that went from his navel down to his.... Well, he’d been able to keep himself from losing control then, but here, now, with Steve half-naked. 

Bucky shook his head hard to clear it. He couldn’t think about that right now or he’d never make it through the next few minutes. 

“Look, I know it’s kind of embarrassing, but it’s not some degradation of your character. That asshole took a shot at you while you were fighting off three other guys. If anyone should be embarrassed it should be him!”

Steve smiled, well grimaced, Bucky reasoned that it was probably hard to pull off a smile with a bullet in your ass. “You shot him, Buck. I don’t think he’s going to be feelin’ anything ever again.”

Bucky shrugged, trying to keep the movement easy. He would have done the same for any of the guy’s on their team, but he had to admit he had a certain prejudice when it came to any of the assholes who thought they could take a shot at Steve and get away with their lives.

“Here help me with my pants.” Steve said as he pulled his undershirt over his head and tossed it on the pile next to the cot. 

“Steve, I ain’t no doc. You really want me to go poking around your backside with a pair of dirty tweezers?” 

Steve let out a long, slow breath. “Listen, Buck, I know you’re not comfortable with this and if we were anywhere near a base with some of the doctors from Erskine’s team I wouldn’t ask, but I don’t want some medic poking and prodding at me like I’m some sorta rat in a lab.” Steve held up the supplies he’d managed to snag out of a medical bag on their way into camp. “Now, would you come over here and get this damn bullet outta my ass.”

Bucky could feel himself giving in and hated it. He had a hard time saying no to Steve anyday, but knowing he was in pain and needed help broke his resolve. Steve gave him a weak smile as he walked toward the cot. There wasn’t as much room or light as Bucky would prefer, but he supposed if Steve got on his knees and leaned against the cot. He had no more thought the words than Steve put them into action, bracing his arms against the cot turning himself around and dropping his knees to the ground as he angled his hips out and up. It was a sight to behold. Bucky took a moment to appreciate the view -storing it away for later use.

Steve worked the belt of his pants loose and pushed them and his underwear down just past his hips. The suit had enough mud and dirt covering it that the blood hadn’t stood out against all the other detris, but seeing the red stains against the off-white of Steve’s boxers made his heart seize up. “Jesus, Stevie, you said it wasn’t too bad. You got blood all over your shorts!”

“It’s not that bad and besides you know how it is when you see blood it makes any little scrap look worse than it is.”

“Yeah, yeah, _Ma, it ain’t so bad. _I heard you make the same argument to your Mom a hundred times when we were kids and it was only true about half of ‘em.”__

__He got the distinct impression that Steve was rolling his eyes at him, “I’m fine, Buck. Please.”_ _

__Please? Steve was on his knees, ass up and saying please to him. Bucky dragged his mind out the gutter to focus on the red trickle of blood coming out of the wound. He went to his knees behind Steve, taking a couple of the swabs and dousing them with the small tube of antiseptic Steve had pinched, saving some of it so he’d be able to clean the tweezers before touching them to Steve’s open wound. Steve might have perfect health now, but anybody could get an infection and die._ _

__He pulled at Steve’s pants to give himself a little more room to clean the wound, only to have Steve reach back with both hands to keep them in place. “I’ve seen your ass before, Steve.”_ _

__Steve hesitated as his hands gripped the bunched up fabric and belt. “Yeah, I know, but...,” Bucky’s heart froze in his chest. He’d always been so careful. Steve couldn’t know. He couldn’t! Steve’s voice finally made it through the panicked buzzing in his head. “It’s just after the procedure. Well, uhm, things are different.” The buzzing eased off. Steve had always been a straight-talker. If he didn’t want Bucky to see his ass cause he knew Bucky was lusting over it, he would have said as much._ _

__“I hate to break it to you buddy, but you’re different all over. Just cause your ass got a little bigger doesn’t mean you have to start acting all precious over it.”_ _

__“I’m not... but...,” Steve seemed to be struggling with something before making the decision to drop his trousers several inches so that they came to rest just below the swell of his buttocks._ _

__Steve leaned forward a little more, laying his chest against the cot for balance, so he could use his hands to keep his pants in place. It couldn’t be a comfortable position, but it did give Bucky the room he needed, so he set to work cleaning the wound and patching Steve up._ _

_________________________________________________________________________________ _

__Bucky tied off the last stitch using a small pair of scissors to cut the thread as close as possible to the wound. It wasn’t a pro job, but Steve would be healed up enough that they could pull them out in the next day or two, so they didn’t need to be perfect. “You still with me?” Bucky asked as he took a last swipe at the wound with some of the antiseptic._ _

__“Yeah, Buck. Thanks.” Bucky took, what felt like the first real breath he’d managed since Steve had been wounded, catching a scent on the air that seemed familiar yet different somehow. “You smell different.” He cringed at his own words. What kind of guy knows what his best friend smells like? Bucky was trying to come up with a joke or jab to cover his mistake, halting when Steve spread his hands across his backside almost like he was trying to hide something._ _

__“I smell.. what does that mean?” Steve said, sounding concerned._ _

__What the fuck had those scientists done to him? The anger he’d been trying to swallow since finding out that Steve had been stupid enough to allow someone to experiment on him bubbled up and out of his mouth. “What did they do to you, Steve?” If they’d hurt Steve, Bucky would track every last one of those sons of bitches down and put a bullet between their eyes. He pushed at Steve’s hands and pulled the trousers down past his thighs roughly._ _

__“Bucky! Stop it!” Steve yelled, pulling at the pants with one hand and trying to push Bucky back with the other. But it was too late. Bucky had the eyes of a marksman and saw a flash of something that just wasn’t right. “Did they cut you?”_ _

__“No, no Buck.” He backed off, shuffling back on his knees as Steve pulled his pants up around his waist. “It’s nothing, really!” Steve couldn’t lie for shit._ _

__“No, it’s something. It’s something or you wouldn’t be freaking out like this.” Bucky was at loss for words as Steve sat back on to his knees and hung his head in shame. That caused his anger to flare again. No one had the right to make Steve ashamed of anything. “You tell me what they did to you Steve. Tell me right now or I swear to God I’m gonna go grab the nearest medic I can find, tie you down to a hospital bed and make him tell me what’s wrong with you!”_ _

__Steve’s shoulders slumped as he bent forward slightly. Bucky felt like a bastard, but if Steve needed help, if he was hurting..._ _

__“It’s a side effect,” Steve’s voice was barely above a whisper. Bucky’s eyes were wide with fear._ _

__“A side effect?”_ _

__Steve looked over his shoulder at him, licking his lips and continuing. “Yeah, I guess, well, did you know we all start out as females in the womb?” Steve stood, turning to face him as he spoke._ _

__“What?” Bucky wasn’t tracking Steve’s meaning at all._ _

__“The serum didn’t just make me some super man. It also gave me some of the characteristics of a woman’s body.”_ _

__Bucky felt like his head was going to explode. “A woman's...? That's not...you what?”_ _

__Steve’s face was flaming red. “Yes, I grew a va..." Steve swallowed harshly, "A vagina.”_ _

__“A what?” Bucky had never heard such a ridiculous word in his whole life._ _

__“It’s the part of a woman’s body where the man...” Steve made had hand jesture that struck Bucky dumb for a moment._ _

__“I might not know what you call it, Steve, but I know what a guy does with one.” Steve was so red he was almost purple._ _

__Steve had grown lady parts. “Holy Shit! Does it hurt?” The red in Steve’s face receded as he gave Bucky an incredulous look. “No, it doesn’t hurt. It’s just there. A part of me like everything else is now.”_ _

__“It’s just there? Steve, there’s pussy between your balls and your asshole!” Bucky wasn't sure what he should be feeling or if he even had the right to feel anything at all. If he was a smart man, he would leave Steve to clean up and try to forget everything he’d just heard and seen._ _

__Instead, he said, “Does it work?”_ _

__“Does it what?” Steve was looking at him like he was the one with extra body parts._ _

__Bucky felt his face break out in a smile. “Come on, Steve. Are you tellin’ me that you haven’t tried it out?”_ _

__“Bucky!” Steve pulled his belt tight as he buckled it around his waist. Bucky lifted his hand toward Steve as he went to pick up his undershirt. “Come on Stevie, you told me the first time you jerked it.”_ _

__Steve pointed at him accusingly, “You said guys told each other that kinda stuff!”_ _

__It was Bucky’s turn to blush. He’d always been a bit of a perv. “Yeah, they do. Of course, all the time.”_ _

__“They do not!”_ _

__“Well, we do.” Bucky took a purposeful step forward. “Not even one finger, Stevie?”_ _

__“Bucky!”_ _

__“Quit sayin’ my name, you’re gonna wear it out.”_ _

__The set of Steve’s shoulders had been so high that they’d nearly been touching his ears. Bucky knew he’d made headway when they eased down slightly._ _

__“Yeah, okay, I mean yeah. When I...” Steve made a motion with his hand toward his groin. “Sometimes, I....” Steve stopped and swallowed hard._ _

__“Drop your pants.”_ _

__“Nonono, that’s not gonna happen.”_ _

__“I’ve already seen it once.” That was a reasonable argument a guy could make, right?_ _

__“Bucky, I am not dropping my pants so you can look at me like I’m some kinda freak show. If I’d wanted that I woulda went to a medic.”_ _

__Bucky didn’t have an answer for that, that wouldn’t mean telling Steve a lot of things he’d spent years keeping to himself._ _

__“I don’t think you’re a freak, Steve. At least not anymore of a freak than I already thought you were.” Steve smiled ruefully at him. “I can’t believe I’m actually considering...” He said more to himself than to Bucky._ _

__Steve started unbuckling the belt. Bucky thought his legs were going to give out for a second._ _

__“Don’t laugh or I swear to God!” Steve didn’t need to threaten him. He wasn’t going to risk saying anything that had the slightest chance of making Steve stop._ _

__Steve shucked the trousers and his underwear down defiantly._ _

__“Step on out of ‘em. I mean they’re dirty anyway.” Bucky offered Steve a hand to balance on as he pulled at the pants legs with the heels of his still socked feet._ _

__“You’re being awful obliging, Barnes.” Steve was eyeing him with suspicion._ _

__The cot was the only surface in the tent that Steve could lean against, so he leaned forward keeping his legs straight as he bent. “You tell anybody about this.” Steve threatened as Bucky went to his knees behind him._ _

__Bucky liked movies well enough, but sometimes he didn’t understand what the guys making them were going for, at least he hadn’t, till now. Sitting there looking at Steve like this, he felt like Dorothy opening her front door to find Oz. There, just behind Steve’s balls was a slit. It didn’t look like any of the girls he’d been with, no extra folds of skin or that little nub that drove ‘em nuts when he touched it, but it was definitely a whatever the hell Steve had called it. His fingers were moving toward Steve on their own when he realized what he was doing._ _

__“Can I?” He said breathlessly._ _

__Steve gave a full body shudder, hanging his head between his shoulders and giving Bucky a quiet, “Yes.”_ _

__Bucky moved forward slightly, sticking his finger in his mouth and pulling it out quickly when the bitter taste of the antiseptic on his tongue reminded his that Steve had just been injured. “Are you sure about this? Are you still hurting?”_ _

__Steve was breathing hard, but deep, “I ain’t feeling no pain right now.” Bucky smiled to himself, shifting slightly to relieve the tension in his pants._ _

__“I’m gonna touch you now,” He said before running his finger around the soft pink slit. His breath startling out of him when he felt moisture. “Holy...” His dick throbbed as all the blood in his body made a beeline down south._ _

__He took a deep breath through his nose. He’d been right. It was different now, a sweetness to the musk that had always been Steve’s scent. He remembered the first time he’d been close enough to Steve’s body to catch the smell. It had been just a few weeks after the first time he’d gone down on a dame. He’d put his face between her legs and worked her over with his tongue till she was screaming. He’d only been 17 and had creamed his pants before he even got his dick out. A few days later Steve had gotten sick and been laid up for nearly a month. Bucky had volunteered to help him take a bath while his Ma was at work and when Steve had bent to get in the tub Bucky had caught a whiff of the scent of his sex. It had taken everything in him not to bury his face between the globes of Steve’s ass and go to town right then and there._ _

__“Bucky,” Steve whimpered above him. “It’s okay Stevie, I know what you need.” Bucky used both hands to pull the lips of Steve’s slit apart and gave him a long lick that started at the back of Steve’s balls and ended just past the slit. Holy Shit! Steve tasted as sweet as he smelled._ _

__Steve toppled forward onto the cot as Bucky reached out to steady him. “You okay? You need me to stop?” Steve changed his hold on the cot angling his hips back towards Bucky’s face. If that wasn’t an invitation Bucky didn’t know what was. He re-positioned himself behind Steve’s hips and dove back in tongue-first._ _

__He’d gone down on a quite a few girls and knew what they liked, but since Steve wasn’t a girl he combined a few of the techniques he’d learned from the guys he’d been with over the years to really get him going. He slid one hand between Steve’s legs, making sure to palm his balls before trailing his hand up to wrap around Steve’s dick while he licked into him. Steve must have loved that cause the muscles around his tongue trembled as Steve moaned._ _

__“Oh, God, Buck!” Steve’s hips stuttered before pushing back onto Bucky’s tongue then up into Bucky’s fist. It took only a few strokes for them to get a rhythm going that would have Steve blowing his top in no time. Bucky was loving it and in real danger of coming in his shorts like the 17 year-old punk he used to be, when Steve stuttered to a stop, saying, “More Buck! More!”_ _

__Bucky pulled his tongue away, putting two fingers in his mouth this time before plunging them in Steve’s wet warmth. “You’re so hot inside.” He said awed. Steve didn’t answer but did fuck himself down onto Bucky’s fingers hard. God, this was better than any blue picture he’d ever seen or dirty story he’d ever heard. He’d be living on this for the rest of his damn life._ _

__“Buck?” Steve’s voice sounded plaintive. “What, Steve? What do you need?”_ _

__Steve shook his head like he didn’t know the answer, or didn’t want to say, “I’ve already done fingers.” He said finally, pushing back so hard that Bucky was afraid Steve was in real danger of hurting himself._ _

__Shit! “You want more fingers or you want my dick?” Steve looked over his shoulder at Bucky, giving him his _‘Don’t ask stupid questions’ _look. Bossy as hell, even in the sack. Bucky had always figured that’s the way Steve would be, but he didn’t think he’d ever get to see it with his own eyes. He pulled his fingers out, wiping them against his shirt before starting to work on his belt and zipper. “Move down, so I can reach you.” He said as he pulled his dick out. He’d gotten so worked up his shorts were nearly soaked through and his dick was dripping into the dirt.___ _

____Steve moved his hips lower, spreading his legs wide to give Bucky room to get a close as possible. “You ready? Tell me you’re ready for it.” Now he was the one that sounded pleading. “Yeah, do it.” Steve said pushing his hips back toward Bucky as Bucky moved forward and pushed his dick into Steve’s slit._ _ _ _

____They both groaned loud enough that if Steve’s tent hadn’t been at the edge of the camp everyone in the platoon would have heard them. Bucky tried to stay in control and keep a steady pace, but Steve was as relentless in this as he was in everything else so Bucky had no choice but to grab a hold of Steve’s hips and hold on for dear life._ _ _ _

____They fucked like that for what felt like forever as Bucky struggled to keep control, but couldn’t have been more than a minute or two when Bucky saw Steve moving one of the arms he’d been using to brace himself against the cot toward his stomach. “No let me.” He said as he leaned forward to fist Steve’s dick. He only got a couple of good tugs in before he felt the muscles surrounding him contract as warmth covered his fist. The thought of Steve coming in his fist and on his dick at the same time was too much and before he really wanted to Bucky was stuttering out his orgasm, slamming his hips into Steve sharply as he emptied himself._ _ _ _

____Steve leaned forward to rest his head against the cot as they caught their breaths, giving a slightly pained noise as the muscles of his ass twitched. Bucky realized he was leaning against the wound he’d just closed and pulled back. His dick coming out of Steve with a soft squelch. He watched as a thin trail of moisture came out of Steve’s slit and traveled down into the light blond hairs on his balls. He knew he would jerking off to off that visual for the rest of life._ _ _ _

____Steve began to move, lifting himself up off up on his knees. The knees he’d been on while Bucky had fucked him._ _ _ _

____His mind was reeling as his body came down from the buzz. He had just fucked Steve. His best friend, who trusted him enough to tell him his secret. What if he’d ruined everything?_ _ _ _

____He put in dick back into his shorts, fastening them quickly as Steve turned to give him a hand up off the ground. He shrugged off the gesture and stood on his own power, though his knees still felt weak._ _ _ _

____“Buck?” Steve’s eyes had a hundred questions in them. Questions that Bucky didn’t have the answers for. “Sorry about that,” He said as he worked to straighten his uniform. “If I got, uh, carried away.”_ _ _ _

____“Carried away?” Steve looked so lost. Bucky wished he could help him, but he was feeling pretty lost himself at the moment._ _ _ _

____“I know you’re still figuring everything out and I can’t imagine what it’d be like if my body went through something like that. Jeez, the first time a dame touched my pecker I...”_ _ _ _

____“You don’t have to let me down easy, Bucky. I’m not some swooning girl, I’m your friend.” Steve turned from him, opening his backpack to pull out some clean clothes and underwear._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, I know. I just...” Bucky turned away, suddenly conscious of the fact that Steve was naked in front of him. “I can’t believe that just happened, is all.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah, me neither,” Steve sounded distant even in the small space of the tent._ _ _ _

____“I didn’t mean to take advantage of your condition or anything.” Bucky said, feeling like a fish flailing on the dock._ _ _ _

____“And I didn’t mean to..." Steve halted, nervous, "I mean, I know it’s been a long time since you’ve even seen a dame who wasn't in a uniform or had time to be alone with your thoughts, so to speak.” Steve tried to make it a joke, but Bucky doubted that either of them would be smiling anytime soon. Bucky could hear the wisp of fabric behind him as Steve got dressed. This was his way out and Bucky took hold of it with both hands._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, it's awhile and well, you know how it is out here.”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah, Buck, I know.” Steve was hurt sounding. Bucky had fucking hurt the one person he never wanted to hurt in his whole life. Steve who never had anything and now had...._ _ _ _

____“Don’t worry that dame of yours, she won’t hear a word of it from me.” Bucky walked toward the flap of the tent, turning back to make sure Steve was dressed before he opened it. “She’s a swell gal and I’m sure she’ll understand about all of it.”_ _ _ _

____“Peggy already knows about the changes, Buck. She was there.” That hurt, Peggy knowing something about Steve before he did. But, he reasoned, that was probably the way it should be anyhow._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, like I said, she’s a swell gal.” He hesitated for a moment, trying to think of something to say, but gave up when the words popping in his head sounded disastrously pathetic and love-sick. “Goodnight, Stevie." He said ducking out of the tent and taking off at a slow jog to find Dum-Dum and the stash of liquor he always kept on hand._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____The end for now...._ _ _ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cap gets the shock of his life when he and Director Fury sit down to have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set post CA:TFA, right after Steve meets Nick Fury for the first time.

“Sorry about all that Cap, but believe it or not we were trying to ease the transition for you.”

The man before him didn’t look very sorry. As a matter of fact, he looked angry, though Steve didn’t know what he had to be angry about. It was like he’d woken up 70 years in the future all alone in a world that he didn’t even know how to begin to understand.

“Well, I don’t know what they told you about me, but I prefer the truth when I can get it. I might have needed help on occasion, but I don’t need coddling.”

“Noted, Sir.” Fury leaned back in the chair they’d provided for him in Steve’s fake hospital room. The nurse, it turned out she was a real nurse, had insisted he rest even though he felt fine.

“Well, culture shock wasn’t the only reason we wanted to ease you back into the world. There’s a few other things you need to know.”

“I’m ready as I’ll ever be, Sir. Give it to me straight.” Steve said, trying not to look like he was about to lose his mind, because really, -70 years.

“Well, Cap, I guess congratulations are in order.” Fury said as he stood and offered Steve his hand.

“Yeah, good on me for living, I guess.” Steve said as he shook Fury’s hand quickly, tugging a little when Fury didn’t let go right away.

“You’re not the only one who made it out of that ice alive, Rogers.” Fury’s eyes travelled south, making Steve feel strangely vulnerable. 

“What are you talking about?” There was no way anyone else had made it out of that plane alive.

Fury huffed out a laugh, “What’d they tell you about your,” Fury hesitated as though considering his words, “...mutations from the procedure.”

“Mutation?” Steve felt himself flush as he realized what Fury was referring too, “I don’t see what that’s got to do with anything.”

“Well, it’s gonna have a lot to do with everything from now on, unless, of course, you decide not to go forward with the pregnancy.”

Steve’s mouth fell open in amazement. This man was obviously insane. He couldn’t be sayin... “No, that’s not possible!” Except maybe, it kinda was.

“Well, it says in your file that the, ‘Patient will be capable to having a healthy, normal sex life and should be able to reproduce in the future’. I’m assuming they thought you’d be on the other end of the baby-making, but even geniuses can’t account for every possibility, I suppose.”

Steve’s head was spinning. “I’m... Are you sayin’ I’m in trouble?”

Fury smiled at him. Steve wasn’t comforted by said smile in any way, shape, or form. 

“I guess that’s what you’d call it.” Fury said as he turned and walked to the door. The real door, not the one Steve had made. Steve had questions, but he couldn’t seem to make the words come out as he watched the man go. 

“Welcome to the 21st Century, Cap!” Fury said as he opened the door and turned to Steve once more. “Don’t worry, SHEILD’s here to help anyway we can. Just let us know what you decide.” 

“Decide?” Decide about his …baby? Steve’s head was swimming as he looked down at his stomach, gripping it tight with both hands just before everything went dark.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is asked to go back in the field.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for the sake of the story I've messed with the timeline for "The Avengers" and have it starting about a year after Steve wakes up in the future and altering the rest of the timeline accordingly.
> 
> This chapter starts right as Fury shows up at Steve's workout to recruit him for the Avengers Initiative.

Steve looked at the file in Fury’s’ hand but didn’t take it. “You trying to get me back in the field, Sir.” Steve said as he began to towel off his sweat.

“The world needs you, son.”

Steve could practically hear the file in Fury’s hand calling his name. He had another 20 minutes before he was supposed to be home. Sharon had told him to take his time when she had volunteered to take care of Jamie for him, but he hated being away from her more than necessary, even if all she did was eat, sleep, and dirty her diapers. Steve turned back to the bag. “My world’s at home sleeping in her crib right now, Sir.”

“There’s a lot of kids that won’t be sleeping safe tonight, Cap. You really gonna walk away when you could do something about it?”

“I’m all she’s got,” He kept his voice steady as he spoke, but that truth hurt, hurt in ways he couldn’t -hadn’t been able to put into words since waking up in this new world. He hadn’t known he could love something so much till the nurse had laid Jamie in his arms. He thought of her now as he mulled Fury’s warning -her baby blond hair and the lopsided little smile that made her look just like.... Hell, he even loved the way her temper would flare when Steve wasn’t quick enough with her bottle. 

The thought of her or anyone’s child being in danger when he could do something about it gnawed at him as he tried to talk himself into going back to his workout. Steve turned, taking the file from Fury's still outstretched hand and hoping that maybe, whatever was about to happen, wasn’t as bad as Fury let on. 

He opened the file and knew the second he saw the word tessaract that it was, of course it was, cause Steve couldn’t have any peace in this life anymore than he could have had before going into the ice. He should have known that the man in front of him wasn’t prone to exaggeration. He let out a slow breath, “I’ll need to see if my neighbor will let Jamie stay for a day or two. She’s offered before...”

Fury smiled at him, showing all his teeth. “I’m sure that won’t be a problem, Cap” He said as Steve narrowed his eyes at Fury’s expression. “Go home, get your shit together, and kiss your kid good-bye, Rogers. We take off at 0600.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wishes he'd taken a cab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This conversation is set during CA:TWS after Steve and Nat return from their mission on the boat.

Steve looked at his watch and grimaced. “Damn it,” Jamie would already be asleep by the time he got home. He knew he should be grateful to get the chance to take a break, but he hadn’t seen his daughter for almost two days, which was way longer than he had wanted to be away from her. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” Nat prompted next to him. He had wanted to catch a cab home, still not happy with how the mission had turned out or his conversation with Nick, but had reasoned Natasha was just doing her job, so he had given in and let her take him back to his apartment. 

“Oh, nothing, I was just wondering if there’s a chance Jamie’s still up. I wanted to put her to bed.” Natasha smiled at him lifting only one corner of her mouth. “You’re too sweet, Rogers. Explain to me again why you’re not fighting off every single man and woman in the DC area.”

Steve shook his head as he turned to watch the city go by the window. “I don’t want every man or woman in DC. I’ve loved two people in my life, Nat. It wasn’t pretty or perfect but it was real and I’m not gonna settle for less, especially not with Jamie in the picture.”

“Uh-uh,” Natasha said, as Steve settled in for the lecture. “Are you sure you’re not just using Jamie as an excuse to keep people away?”

Steve worked his neck from side-to-side, considering. It was a valid question. One he’d asked himself, “No, it’s not Jamie. It’s me. I’ve met some nice women and a couple of nice guys, but there’s nothing there, Nat. No light, no spark. Maybe I’m just not meant to have that again.”

“That’s bull, Steve and you know it. You don’t give them the chance to light your fire.”

He really wished he’d taken that cab now. 

“What about that guy? The one yesterday in the park?”

“I just met Sam. I know nothing about him.”

“But do you want to?”

Steve shrugged helplessly. Maybe if he threw himself out of the car he’d could make it home before Natasha ran him down? “I don’t know. He seemed more like a friend, than a date.”

“I thought one of those great loves of your life started out as your friend.”

Steve felt his chest go tight like it hadn’t in years. “Bucky was always my friend. It was never more than that for him.”

“I think there’s a little girl asleep in your apartment who could pose an argue against that statement.”

Steve hoped that someday he would get over blushing about these things. All the women who’d helped him him through his pregnancy and delivery had said they lost most of their inhibitions about their bodies and sex after giving birth, but Steve still felt like some things should be kept private. 

“What happened between me and Buck,” Steve took a breath, “I’d been in love with him since I was a kid, but he didn’t go for guys, so I kept it to myself and then one night we just kinda got swept up in a moment and it never happened again.” Nat was listening quietly. “I think he regretted it and I didn’t know how to deal with that, so we just went on like nothing had happened.”

Steve smiled ruefully. “I can just imagine his face if I’d come to him saying he was going to be a dad. He would have hit the deck and then called me every name in the book,” His vision grew hazy, “But he would have been over the moon when he met her.”

“He wouldn’t have been the only one over the moon for that kid.” Natasha had a smile in her voice as she turned into Steve’s neighborhood.

“No, he wouldn’t’a been.” Steve agreed, smiling now and eager to see his girl. 

He heard the creak of Nat’s gloves against the steering wheel. “Look Steve, I don’t think people have to be in a relationship to be happy, but I think that you’re lonely and kid or no you don’t have to be.”

“I’m alone, Natasha, but I’m not lonely.” How could he be when Jamie filled up so much of his life?

“Okay, if you say so, Rogers.”

They were almost to Steve’s street thank God.

“So,” The tone was way too casual, Nat wasn’t even trying to be subtle, “how’s your neighbor doing?” Natasha leaned toward him slightly. “You know the one that loves watching your kid for free and is always available any time you need her.”

Steve shrank into the seat, “Sharon’s fine and Jamie loves her. And, yes, I’m very lucky to have such an accommodating neighbor.” Maybe a little too accommodating, which made Steve nervous at times.

“Uh-uh.” Natasha clicked her tongue against the back of her teeth. He felt his face getting red again. “She’s nice and attractive, I admit, but nothing’s going to happen there either, Nat.”

Natasha lifted a brow at him as she pulled in front of his building, “Does she know that?”

Steve opened the door, glad to be out of the cramped space and Natasha’s clutches, “Goodnight, Nat.”

“Nighty-night, Steve,” She said before peeling out into the street.


End file.
